Husband says, How would you like your eggs dear?
Wife says, There's more ways than one? And I suppose you'll next ask: "Where's your band dear?" How silly you are...
--Weltlust
Vodka tonics would dry up if ever in
mixed company with Three Olives, second
cousins, twice removed--you know, that
family that fits in another, not your, family.
Your family, who always gets shaken, never
stirred. Margery, rattled by Jim, no Tim,
John's pit stains and bed wet-dreams,
charitously donated her three carat in ex-
change for twin silicons and pink V
Slims. Her trading partner? You know
Jack, she says--it's John, he sluggs, rubber-
stamping the lithe body of yellow-lastic lumps;
You're silly dear, she giggled, don't be such
a fribblest. Now Jack,
JOHN!
not you Jack but Jack-Jack from
the Ritz, that Jack dear, never
you--he knows Kamchatka belongs three
shelves below the "For Sale" of Pete's Hooch
isle, she swoons; a poor man's vodka
and milk. What a trifle it would be for us--
Jack and myself--she thought while skimming
through Dalloway, quaffing with those Tipple's.
My Jack--no, not you Jack dear--says egg's
yellow sac only scrambles; you know dear
Jack, shaken--never stirred.
Sydney,
ReplyDeleteThis draft is a really neat, quick read. It seems to be almost in constant motion from the way the lines move from one to the next on the backs of the short, rapid seeming, connected syllables. It has some really interesting play on sounds with “not you Jack but Jack-Jack form / the Ritz” and “fribblest”, “trifle”, and “Tipple’s”. The repetition of Jack throughout was a particularly powerful element in the overall rapid movement of this draft. I really like how you privileged the play with sounds over meaning