Peer Response (X2) -- Week One

• Peer Response #1 (Week One): Ebef's Free Entry, Week One

Elizabeth,

One of the major things that I like about this piece is the fact that you are playing around and experimenting with every day image's from a displaced point-of-view... similar to "A Martian Sends a Postcard Home," using that same kind of "other" perspective. What's more, with this approach, you were able to construct some very concrete and unusal imagery. Also, I think the recursive pattern of interrogative's used at the end of the piece gives the text a little extra step. However, I think that instead of ending the piece in this fashion, you might could try and take those questions and turn them into elaborate answers- which would make for some EXTREMELY fascinating responses... I want to know what alien's argue about at the dinner table; what kind of god they aruge about; what food they eat, etc...
Overall, nice job! I think you are off to a great start!

• Peer Response #2 (Week One): Pauline's Improv', Week One

Pauline,

First of all, I really like the way you have taken particulars of Dubrow's piece (which is the point of improv', of course), but manipulated those particulars in a way that sets your piece apart. I find the idea of "excess baggage" interesting and full of nuances pertaining to very real, very sensitive subject matter- unyeilding and unprejudice to "types" of people. Does that make sense?
With this in mind, I think this piece contains such potential for expansion, for elaboration on background, the people involved, etc... I wouldn't mind feeling the actual weight of this 'excess baggage' as I read through the text; the weight of narrator, the spouse, the bag itself...
I really enjoy this improv', and I truly believe there is so much room for growth!