"Betrayal" by: Adam Zagajewski
The greatest delight, I sense,
is hidden sublimely in the act of betrayal
which can be equal only to fidelity.
To betray a woman, friends, an idea,
to see new light in the eyes
of distant shadows. But choices are
limited: other women, other
ideas, the enemies of our
long-standing friends. If only
we could encounter some quite different
otherness, settle in a country which has
no name, touch a woman before
she is born, lose our memories, meet
a God other than our own.
Improv':
Betting Games
The high of life, I feel,
is only secretly stashed in the act of games,
gambling at stakes worth more than a
thousand of you and the sleeping lover
occupying the other side of bed- which
comments on the equal rush of sex with
bets. To place a bet on another flesh of
body, animals, an entire race, the mixed
and half-breds of foreign lands. But
currency changes over seas, along with
the guaranteed quality of your win.
The question I have for this draft is: what does it mean to mix sex with bets? Is there some specific action or strange image that could emphasize or illustrate that? I could apply that same question to “to place a bet on another flesh of / body” – what’s the sensory, memory, imagistic implication of that? Who? Where? When? Why? I think you’re getting the picture.
ReplyDeleteI’m intrigued by the idea, though. The whole “betting on sex” thing, and I like how you’ve riffed off the original. As is typical of our anthology poems, the original is not what I’m used to in terms of concrete language and American-style writing, but there’s a lot to work with there anyway. I think the end is very important, though – that strange image of touching a woman before she is born, and I think the improve might be missing a little of that. The currency statement is interesting, but just not as gooseflesh-inducing as the original image. Perhaps aim a little more for something like that to finish the draft off.