Peer Response 1, Week 5: Elizabeth B's Calesthenic Blog

Elizabeth, I like the way that you began your calesthenic warm-up. It seems as if you took on the notions of an expanision/contraction stylistic approach. You took some nice, charged and interesting image-specific language at the start of your blog, and then turned around and incorporated it into a draft poem. When I read through the draft poem, I see that you have taken some language from your warm-up exercise, and then playing with ways in which to use them in a piece. You have some really interesting lines working throughout the piece, such as: "Radiating with the wicked gloss of karma...", "The father stretched out his golden scales...", "...whipser hangs on the wind...", and "I am sure nothing is redder then the sun...". Those lines appear to express/show very concrete-specific imagery. I do think, however, the piece could use more hard, punch-driven language. Also, I would like to know more, be shown more, about what is taking place, because I seem to feel a little lost about what is going on even though you include some very hyped language. Nice job overall!