First of all, I just want to say that this draft made me grin. I know we have discussed in class about poem titles, and how sometimes the titles may be too representative of the poem; however, I think your title works perfectly here. The title takes me straight to a cinemma theater, in the body of someone who works there daily. Perfect setting. What's more, I think you have done a great job with showing the reader specific (common) reoccurring scenes delt with in the narrators job. I like the idea of how nothing really ever changes here. I think the stagnancy of the cinemma theater, the way the narrator portrays it, is something we typically do not associate as "the same ol' - same ol'" day in and day out, so by making "Carmike 12" (a very specific, independent cinemma from all the rest) automatically tells the reader about the narrators attitude/outlook on his job-especially when the narrator states at the end, "their sugar filled prize / as unreachable as my future" hits the nail on the head. Although a relatively short draft, you have given the reader a great bit of information to work with. However, I would like to see this piece expanded. I love what you have written so far, and I think you could do a lot more with it. Great job :)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Peer Response 1, Week 7: Ray's Free Write, Week 6
First of all, I just want to say that this draft made me grin. I know we have discussed in class about poem titles, and how sometimes the titles may be too representative of the poem; however, I think your title works perfectly here. The title takes me straight to a cinemma theater, in the body of someone who works there daily. Perfect setting. What's more, I think you have done a great job with showing the reader specific (common) reoccurring scenes delt with in the narrators job. I like the idea of how nothing really ever changes here. I think the stagnancy of the cinemma theater, the way the narrator portrays it, is something we typically do not associate as "the same ol' - same ol'" day in and day out, so by making "Carmike 12" (a very specific, independent cinemma from all the rest) automatically tells the reader about the narrators attitude/outlook on his job-especially when the narrator states at the end, "their sugar filled prize / as unreachable as my future" hits the nail on the head. Although a relatively short draft, you have given the reader a great bit of information to work with. However, I would like to see this piece expanded. I love what you have written so far, and I think you could do a lot more with it. Great job :)
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