Elizabeth,
This is such an odd piece! I like it! I think it's great how you are really streching the boundries with language and imagery within this draft. I also think it's wonderful that you have chosen to use this draft as your workshop piece, because you are giving our class a lot to work with- so kudos! In terms of showing imagery, I think you are hitting the nail on the head. You are doing a wonderful job with taking chances, breeding things together that most would never think to do. I must admit, I smiled when I read the title; I like it. Yet, I wonder if you couldn't do a little more to it? There are only a few grey areas in the draft that I'm having trouble understanding. I'm not exactly certain about how these three stanzas are working together? I get the idea that this is presenting a first date, and that the stanzas are the segments, showing the date throughout the night, however there is still a blur between the three, for me. I'm super pumped about workshopping this piece in class tomorrow!! Great job!
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